{"id":5868,"date":"2026-09-15T14:58:01","date_gmt":"2026-09-15T14:58:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/?p=5868"},"modified":"2026-09-15T14:58:01","modified_gmt":"2026-09-15T14:58:01","slug":"how-to-talk-to-an-aging-parent-about-personal-care","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/blog\/how-to-talk-to-an-aging-parent-about-personal-care\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Talk to an Aging Parent About Personal Care"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The same shirt three days running. A shower that stays dry. A father who shaved every morning of his working life and has quietly stopped, and who has not said why.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Families often notice small changes like these before they know what the changes mean, and many hesitate to raise the subject right away. The hesitation makes sense. A conversation about the body is not the same as a conversation about money or wills, and it is worth working through sooner rather than later. An offer of help can land as a verdict on whether someone is still capable of running their own life.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Personal care means help with bathing, showering, dressing, grooming, toileting and moving safely around the home. A respectful conversation about it starts from a goal your parent already holds, usually staying in their own home, offers real choices about who helps and how much, and begins with the support that is easiest to accept.<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:200}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">If the bigger conversation about health, money and the years ahead is the one you need, we cover that in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/blog\/starting-the-conversation\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">starting the conversation with your parents<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. This page stays on personal care.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Key Takeaways<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"1\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Start from a goal your parent already has, often staying in their own home and keeping their independence, rather than from the thing that worries you most.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:-360,&quot;335559737&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"2\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Keep your parent involved in the decision. Offer specific choices about what help they receive, who provides it and when it happens.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:-360,&quot;335559737&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"3\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/surveillance-report-falls-older-adults-canada.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Falls were the leading cause of injury-related hospitalizations among people aged 65 or older in 2018\/2019<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, and the Public Health Agency of Canada names the bathroom and stairs as particularly hazardous.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:-360,&quot;335559737&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"4\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Changing the house is already ordinary: <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/82-003-x\/2025007\/article\/00002-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">25.0% of Canadians aged 65 to 79 and 51.9% of those 80 and over used home adaptations<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> such as grab bars.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:-360,&quot;335559737&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:0}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul>\n<li aria-setsize=\"-1\" data-leveltext=\"\uf0b7\" data-font=\"Symbol\" data-listid=\"1\" data-list-defn-props=\"{&quot;335552541&quot;:1,&quot;335559685&quot;:720,&quot;335559991&quot;:360,&quot;469769226&quot;:&quot;Symbol&quot;,&quot;469769242&quot;:[8226],&quot;469777803&quot;:&quot;left&quot;,&quot;469777804&quot;:&quot;\uf0b7&quot;,&quot;469777815&quot;:&quot;hybridMultilevel&quot;}\" data-aria-posinset=\"5\" data-aria-level=\"1\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Begin with the support that is easiest to say yes to. A free, no-obligation care consultation is available while your parent is still thinking it over.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:-360,&quot;335559737&quot;:0,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:80}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Why Personal Care Conversations Can Feel Difficult<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-5861\" src=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/Untitled-design-1-300x212.png\" alt=\"Comfort Keepers Winnipeg. Home support after hospital discharge\" width=\"1160\" height=\"820\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/Untitled-design-1-300x212.png 300w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/Untitled-design-1-1024x724.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/Untitled-design-1-768x543.png 768w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/Untitled-design-1-1536x1086.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/Untitled-design-1.png 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1160px) 100vw, 1160px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Bathing, dressing and toileting are private in a way that meals, rides and housekeeping are not, so an offer of help with them carries a second message your parent hears whether or not you send it. The task is small. What it seems to say about their independence is not.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Alzheimer Society of Canada, a national health charity, puts the reason plainly in its <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/help-support\/im-caring-person-living-dementia\/providing-day-day-care\/personal-care\/bathing\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guidance for families caring for someone with dementia<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">: \u201cMost adults consider bathing a highly private, personal activity.\u201d The underlying privacy concern can apply well beyond dementia care, which helps explain why a conversation about a grab bar goes easily and a conversation about who helps in the shower does not.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There is also something happening on your parent\u2019s side that is easy to miss. The US National Institute on Aging notes in its <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/getting-started-caregiving\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guidance for people starting out as caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> that \u201cthe older person may be hesitant to share their health information. They may not want to worry you, or they may not want others to know how serious their health issues have become.\u201d Your parent may be managing more than they have told you, and protecting you from it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">You are not unusual for finding this hard, and neither is your parent for resisting it. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/daily-quotidien\/221108\/t003b-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada found<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> that among Canadians who provided unpaid care to care-dependent adults in 2022, 40.1% of women and 30.0% of men provided personal care. Personal care is a common part of unpaid caregiving.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">What Your Parent May Be Weighing<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">In our experience with Winnipeg families, a parent hearing this raised is weighing more than one thing. There is privacy. There is the reversal of who helps whom. For a daughter helping her mother, the person offering to wash her hair is the person whose hair she once washed. And there is the fear that saying yes is the first step towards leaving a house she has lived in for forty years.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">That last fear is the one to answer directly, because it has the sequence backwards. The federal, provincial and territorial ministers responsible for seniors define <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/employment-social-development\/corporate\/seniors-forum-federal-provincial-territorial\/aging.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">aging in place<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> as \u201chaving the health and social supports and services you need to live safely and independently in your home or your community for as long as you wish and are able,\u201d and note that \u201cmaking choices now will give you greater control over your independence, quality of life and dignity.\u201d Most older Canadians, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/82-003-x\/2025007\/article\/00002-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada reports in its 2025 study of aging in the community<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, \u201cwould prefer to stay in their own homes and communities rather than move to long-term care (LTC) facilities.\u201d For many people, help in the house is what makes staying there possible.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Why Refusing a Shower Is Rarely the Whole Story<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There is also a plainer explanation than stubbornness, and it often has nothing to do with independence at all. The bathroom may simply have become the hardest room in the house.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Several ordinary changes stack up. Joints stiffen, and as the US National Library of Medicine describes in its overview of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004015.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">aging changes in bones, muscles and joints<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, \u201cmovement slows and may become limited. The walking pattern (gait) becomes slower and shorter,\u201d and \u201colder people get tired more easily and have less energy.\u201d Vision changes too. The same library\u2019s page on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004013.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">aging changes in the senses<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> notes that \u201cyou may be less able to tolerate glare. For example, glare from a shiny floor in a sunlit room can make it difficult to get around indoors.\u201d Skin gets drier, because <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004014.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">sebaceous glands produce less oil with age<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Nobody can tell you from a distance that this is why your father stopped showering. But families tell us it often is, and it changes the conversation. A parent who has been avoiding a slippery tub is managing a problem privately, and may be relieved that somebody noticed.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Choose the Right Time and Tone<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-5871\" src=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/2-1-300x212.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"1149\" height=\"812\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/2-1-300x212.png 300w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/2-1-1024x724.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/2-1-768x543.png 768w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/2-1-1536x1086.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/2-1.png 2000w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1149px) 100vw, 1149px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Raise it early, in private, when nobody is rushed or upset, and lead with one specific thing you noticed rather than a conclusion about what your parent can no longer do.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The federal seniors forum\u2019s guidance on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/employment-social-development\/corporate\/seniors-forum-federal-provincial-territorial\/care-conversation.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">care conversations<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> is direct about the setting: \u201cfor the first conversation, set a time and place that is quiet, private and comfortable.\u201d It also suggests starting \u201cby sharing how you feel and why you think discussions are important,\u201d then asking \u201chow the person feels about his or her situation and the future.\u201d Notice the order. You go first, with your own feelings, and then you ask.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Timing matters more here than in almost any other care conversation, because the alternative is having it in a hospital corridor. The US National Institute on Aging makes the same point in its guidance on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/sharing-caregiving-responsibilities\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">sharing caregiving responsibilities<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">: \u201cthis conversation will be most productive when there is not an emergency.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">One specific observation beats a general concern. Manitoba\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/publications\/docs\/caregiver.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guide for caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> puts the aim plainly, that \u201can honest conversation can help relieve tension, solve problems and express feelings,\u201d and it asks families to speak calmly and allow the person time to respond. So say the thing you actually saw, then stop talking and wait. The pause is where your parent decides whether this is a conversation or an announcement.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Tone Trap: Talking to a Parent Like a Child<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The fastest way to end the conversation is to change how you speak. The World Health Organization\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.who.int\/media\/docs\/default-source\/2021-dha-docs\/9789240016866-eng.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">global report on ageism<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> describes the pattern as \u201cusing an overly accommodating tone and simple vocabulary and sentence structure when interacting with older adults (known as elderspeak).\u201d The report\u2019s point is that speaking to someone as though they are less capable can reinforce the assumption that they are less capable, and increase the likelihood that others treat them that way. Manitoba\u2019s caregiver guide gives families the same instruction in one line: avoid treating older people as children, \u201ceither through actions or tone of voice,\u201d to help them keep a sense of dignity.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There is a second trap specific to this topic. Because personal care is awkward to raise, families often talk around it, with a sibling, in the same room, while their parent sits there. Guidance the US National Institute on Aging writes for <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/health-care-professionals-information\/talking-your-older-patients\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">health care providers talking with older patients<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> applies just as well at a kitchen table: speak more slowly, do not interrupt, and remember that \u201chaving physical, sensory, or cognitive impairments does not lessen the maturity of an adult patient.\u201d Ask your parent the question. Then let them answer it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<table data-tablestyle=\"MsoNormalTable\" data-tablelook=\"1696\" aria-rowcount=\"7\" aria-colcount=\"2\">\n<tbody>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"1\">\n<td data-celllook=\"69905\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">What tends to close the conversation<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"69905\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">What tends to open it<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"2\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cYou can\u2019t manage on your own anymore.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cI noticed the tub has been hard to get in and out of lately. Is that how it feels to you?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"3\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cWe\u2019ve decided to get you some help.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cThere are a few ways we could make mornings easier. Which of them would you actually want?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"4\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cYou need to shower more often.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cWould a grab bar and someone nearby make the shower feel less risky?\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"5\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Discussing your parent\u2019s personal care with a sibling while your parent sits there.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Asking your parent the question directly, then waiting for the answer without filling the silence.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"6\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cDon\u2019t worry about any of it, we\u2019ll take care of everything.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cYou\u2019d still be the one deciding whether any of it happens, and what help comes into the house.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"7\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cMom, it\u2019s time.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cCan we come back to this next week? Nothing changes today.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><i><span data-contrast=\"none\">Table 1. The lines on the right keep the decision with your parent. They are ours, drawn from what we hear works with Winnipeg families, and built on the setting and tone guidance published by the federal seniors forum and the Province of Manitoba.<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Focus on Goals, Safety and Independence<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Tie the help to something your parent already wants, rather than to the thing that worries you. Almost nobody\u2019s goal is \u201caccept personal care.\u201d The goal is staying in this house, getting to the grandchildren\u2019s recitals, church on Sunday, cooking a proper meal again.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">None of that makes the risk smaller. The Public Health Agency of Canada reports that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/surveillance-report-falls-older-adults-canada.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cfalls were the leading cause of injury-related hospitalizations among people aged 65 or older in 2018\/2019\u201d<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, and that 5.8% of people aged 65 and over living in a household residence said they had been injured in a fall in the previous twelve months in 2017 to 2018. Over the pooled years 2015\/2016 to 2019\/2020, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/surveillance-report-falls-older-adults-canada.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">about half of fall-related hospitalizations among older adults happened in a household residence<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. The national <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Safe Living Guide<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> is specific about where in that residence: \u201cthe bathroom and stairs are particularly hazardous due to the risk of slipping, tripping and stumbling.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There is no reliable Canadian figure for how many falls happen in the bathroom. What <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">the guide<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> does offer is a set of practical changes: properly placed and well anchored grab bars in the tub or shower, non-slip surfaces, bath mats with rubberized backing, a raised toilet seat, a night light. It also includes a warning worth repeating to anyone about to improvise: \u201cgrab bars must be anchored firmly into the studs in the wall. Towel racks or soap dishes should never be used for support!\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">There is one more finding that often explains behaviour a family has been misreading. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/82-624-x\/2014001\/article\/14010-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada, in its study of how seniors perceive their own risk of falling<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, found that just over one third of Canadians aged 65 and older, 34%, reported being concerned about a future fall, and among those, approximately 44% said they had stopped doing some of the activities they enjoyed because of that concern. Those figures come from 2008 to 2009 data. The <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Safe Living Guide<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> explains why it matters: \u201cseniors who fall may limit their activities for fear of falling again. Yet by limiting activities, they are likely to lose strength and flexibility and increase their risk of falling again.\u201d A parent who has quietly stopped bathing may not be refusing anything. They may be frightened.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">If it helps to know how ordinary this is, home adaptations are common, especially at older ages. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/82-003-x\/2025007\/article\/00002-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada found<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> that 25.0% of Canadians aged 65 to 79 and 51.9% of those aged 80 or older living in the community used them, with grab bars and handrails the most common, based on 2019\/2020 survey data. Changing something about the house is a practical step, not an admission of anything.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Changes Worth Raising With a Doctor, Not Just With a Caregiver<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Some of what families notice belongs with a physician rather than with a caregiver, and it helps to know which is which before you call anyone.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Bladder changes are the clearest example. The US National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases states that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.niddk.nih.gov\/health-information\/urologic-diseases\/bladder-control-problems\/definition-facts\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">although urinary incontinence is common<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, \u201cit is not a routine part of being a woman or getting older,\u201d and that \u201cproper treatment may improve your quality of life.\u201d A parent quietly avoiding outings may be managing something treatable that nobody has asked about. Dry mouth is similar. The US National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research notes in its <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nidcr.nih.gov\/sites\/default\/files\/2023-12\/dry-mouth-and-older-adults.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guidance for caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> that \u201cit is important to know that dry mouth is not part of the aging process itself,\u201d and that \u201cfor example, medicines for high blood pressure, depression, and bladder-control problems often cause dry mouth.\u201d That is a question for the prescriber or pharmacist.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">New difficulty with judgment or with familiar daily tasks has many possible causes, and none of them can be settled at a kitchen table. The Alzheimer Society of Canada is clear in its list of <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/about-dementia\/do-i-have-dementia\/10-warning-signs-dementia\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">warning signs<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> that \u201conly a qualified health-care provider, after multiple assessments and tests, can confirm whether you or someone you know has dementia,\u201d and that if you are concerned, \u201cthe next step is to talk to your doctor.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<table data-tablestyle=\"MsoNormalTable\" data-tablelook=\"1696\" aria-rowcount=\"8\" aria-colcount=\"3\">\n<tbody>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"1\">\n<td data-celllook=\"69905\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">What you noticed<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"69905\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Context worth knowing<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"69905\"><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Where to take it<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"2\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">New difficulty getting in or out of the tub<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004015.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Joints stiffen with age, and gait becomes slower and shorter<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Bathroom changes such as anchored grab bars and non-slip surfaces <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">(PHAC Safe Living Guide)<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. Raise any new difficulty with your parent\u2019s doctor.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"3\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Showering less often, or bathing with the light off<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004013.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Less tolerance for glare and reduced side vision<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> can make a bright bathroom harder to use<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Better lighting and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">a night light in the bathroom<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. Mention any change in vision to your parent\u2019s doctor.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"4\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Dry or itchy skin<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004014.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Sebaceous glands produce less oil with age<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, so skin gets drier<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">MedlinePlus suggests gentle, non-perfumed soap and a moisturizer, and notes that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004014.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">bath oils are not recommended because they can cause a slip<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. A doctor or pharmacist for anything persistent.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"5\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Signs of a bladder-control problem, or a change in how often your parent goes out<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Urinary incontinence is common but is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.niddk.nih.gov\/health-information\/urologic-diseases\/bladder-control-problems\/definition-facts\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">not a routine part of getting older<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, and treatment may improve quality of life<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">A doctor\u2019s appointment.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"6\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">A sore mouth, trouble eating, or skipping dental care<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nidcr.nih.gov\/sites\/default\/files\/2023-12\/dry-mouth-and-older-adults.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Dry mouth is not part of the aging process itself<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, and medicines for blood pressure, depression and bladder control often cause it<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">The prescriber or pharmacist, and a dentist.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"7\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">A fall, or giving up activities for fear of falling<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/surveillance-report-falls-older-adults-canada.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Falls were the leading cause of injury-related hospitalizations among people 65 and over in 2018\/2019<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">limiting activity can reduce strength further<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Tell the doctor about any fall, and review the home for hazards.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<tr aria-rowindex=\"8\">\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">New difficulty with judgment or familiar daily tasks<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">There are many possible causes and none can be settled at home<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<td data-celllook=\"4369\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Talk to your parent\u2019s doctor. The Alzheimer Society of Canada states that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/about-dementia\/do-i-have-dementia\/10-warning-signs-dementia\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">only a qualified health-care provider, after multiple assessments and tests, can confirm dementia<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:60,&quot;335559739&quot;:60}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<p><i><span data-contrast=\"none\">Table 2. We put this table together ourselves, and each row links to its own official source. These examples are not diagnoses. New or concerning changes should be discussed with an appropriate health-care professional.<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:80,&quot;335559739&quot;:240}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Offer Choices Instead of Taking Control<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">When your parent is able to make the decision, the choice remains theirs. You will not argue them into a yes, so the useful move is to narrow the decision down to real options, and let whichever one they pick be genuinely theirs.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Manitoba\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/web2.gov.mb.ca\/laws\/statutes\/ccsm\/h027.php\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Health Care Directives Act<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> defines capacity as being able \u201cto understand the information that is relevant to making a decision and able to appreciate the reasonably foreseeable consequences of a decision or lack of decision,\u201d and presumes, in the absence of evidence to the contrary, that a person 16 or older has it. That Act governs health care and treatment decisions rather than whether someone accepts help at home, and nothing here is legal advice. The principle behind it still holds in the kitchen: an adult is presumed to be running their own life, including when their choices are not the ones their children would make.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Manitoba\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/publications\/docs\/caregiver.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guide for caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> starts families in the same place: \u201cif the care receiver is mentally alert, determine his or her wishes about the need for help and plans for the future.\u201d Not your assessment of the need. Their wishes about it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">In practice, that means bringing options rather than conclusions. The US National Institute on Aging models it well in its guidance on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/does-older-adult-your-life-need-help\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">recognizing when an older adult needs help<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">: \u201cthen try to fulfill the person\u2019s wishes to the extent possible.\u201d Its example is about groceries, but the shape transfers directly. If your mother wants to keep managing her own mornings, ask something narrower. Would a hand on Tuesdays and Fridays make the mornings she does manage herself easier?<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:200,&quot;335559739&quot;:80}\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-5874 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"2200\" height=\"1415\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1.png 2200w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1-300x193.png 300w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1-1024x659.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1-768x494.png 768w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1-1536x988.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-1_Four-Choices-That-Stay-With-Your-Parent-1-2048x1317.png 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2200px) 100vw, 2200px\" \/><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span data-contrast=\"none\">Figure 1. The decision belongs to your parent. The conversation just makes the options specific.<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:280}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Start With the Help Your Parent Would Choose First<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Begin with the help that is easiest to say yes to, which is usually housekeeping, meals or errands, and let personal care follow once your parent knows the person who is coming.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">We see this every week. A family calls about bathing, and the visit that actually starts is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/companion-care\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">companion care<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, because a cup of tea and a hand with the laundry is a far smaller thing to agree to than someone in the bathroom. A plan can begin with companionship, meals or household help and add personal care such as dressing, grooming or bathing when your parent is comfortable with it. When bathing comes up again, it is being offered by someone your parent already knows by name.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">A partial yes is a real yes. The Alzheimer Society of Canada\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/help-support\/im-caring-person-living-dementia\/providing-day-day-care\/personal-care\/bathing\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">bathing guidance for dementia caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> gives families permission to accept less than they hoped for: \u201con some days these ideas will make bathing easier. On others you may decide that a sponge bath will be sufficient or even that no bath is best.\u201d If your father agrees to someone being in the house while he showers on his own, treating that as a real yes rather than a half-measure is what keeps the subject open.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Our own care is built to start small and change shape. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/personal-care-services\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Personal care from Comfort Keepers Winnipeg<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> can begin with a few hours a week and grow or change as your parent\u2019s needs change, which means the first yes your family asks for does not have to be a large one.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:200,&quot;335559739&quot;:80}\"> <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone wp-image-5873 size-full\" src=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"2200\" height=\"1927\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes.png 2200w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes-300x263.png 300w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes-1024x897.png 1024w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes-768x673.png 768w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes-1536x1345.png 1536w, https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/145\/2026\/09\/WIN-ART-N07_Figure-2_Start-Where-It-Is-Easiest-to-Say-Yes-2048x1794.png 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 2200px) 100vw, 2200px\" \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span data-contrast=\"none\">Figure 2. Examples arranged from less private to more private.<\/span><\/i><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335551550&quot;:2,&quot;335551620&quot;:2,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:280}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u00a0How a Caregiver Can Help Preserve Dignity<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Some families find that an older parent is more comfortable receiving personal care such as bathing from a professional caregiver than from an adult child. That can reflect the privacy of the task, not the strength of the family relationship. With a caregiver, being helped into the shower is not tangled up with forty years of being someone\u2019s parent.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Personal care is the most personal help we give, so who does it matters. Our caregivers work at your parent\u2019s pace and follow their preferences rather than a fixed routine. If your father would rather shave first and dress after, that is how the visit goes.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Before care begins, our team discusses your parent\u2019s routines, preferences and care needs, builds the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/in-home-elder-care-services\/care-services-faqs\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">plan of care<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> with your parent and your family, and works to match them with a caregiver who suits. Your parent is part of that conversation, so the first personal care visit is not a surprise to them.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The everyday details are where dignity lives, and they are what we train our caregivers to get right. Keep your parent covered. Let them wash whatever they can wash themselves. Say what you are doing while you do it. Keep the routine they already have instead of bringing a new one. Those four are drawn from the Alzheimer Society of Canada\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/help-support\/im-caring-person-living-dementia\/providing-day-day-care\/personal-care\/bathing\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">bathing guidance for dementia caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, and they hold for anyone. The same organization, in <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/sites\/default\/files\/documents\/Guidelines-for-Care_Alzheimer-Society-Canada.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">care guidelines written for dementia care homes<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, describes person-centred care as recognizing \u201cthat individuals have unique values, personal history and personality and that each person has an equal right to dignity, respect, and to participate fully in their environment,\u201d with people supported to participate in their own care \u201cat the level they choose.\u201d That level is your parent\u2019s to set, and it can change from one day to the next.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">That is the thinking behind Interactive Caregiving\u2122, the approach we use across every service. We want a visit to keep your parent involved in their own day rather than run through as a checklist while they sit and wait. The morning still belongs to them.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">When to Revisit the Conversation<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Plenty of these conversations end in a no, and that is a normal place for a first one to end. A no closes the subject for today, not forever, so before you leave it, ask your parent what would make them want to look at it again. \u201cIf you have another fall, can we talk about this?\u201d is a real agreement, and if your parent says yes to it, the next conversation starts from a condition they set rather than one you brought.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Plans are meant to be reviewed. The US National Institute on Aging advises families, in its guidance on <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/sharing-caregiving-responsibilities\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">sharing caregiving responsibilities<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, to check in with the older person and the other caregivers regularly to confirm the arrangement is still working for everyone, and the federal seniors forum\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/employment-social-development\/corporate\/seniors-forum-federal-provincial-territorial\/care-conversation.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">care conversations guidance<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> notes that a family member\u2019s role changes as the person\u2019s health and needs change. Manitoba\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/publications\/docs\/caregiver.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">caregiver guide<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> adds the point that gets families through the awkward middle stretch: once the options have all been looked at, someone usually has to accept a compromise.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The easier version of this conversation is the one you have before you need it. The Province of Manitoba makes the same point on its page about <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/resources\/financial-and-legal-matters.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">planning ahead for seniors<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">: \u201cas we age, there might come a time when we are no longer able to make some decisions on our own. It\u2019s important for our loved ones to know our wishes and that someone we trust has the authority to look out for us. Before that time comes, it\u2019s best to have a plan in place so families can better support us.\u201d<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">How Comfort Keepers Winnipeg Can Support Personal Care at Home<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Our caregivers help with bathing and showering, dressing, grooming and choosing an outfit, getting up and moving safely, transferring, toileting and continence support, along with light housekeeping, laundry and meal preparation. This is non-medical support. Anything clinical belongs to your parent\u2019s physician and health care team, or to our separate <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/in-home-elder-care-services\/nursing-services\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">in-home nursing service<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, which provides medical care through licensed practical nurses and registered nurses.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">We are locally owned and operated, based at 806 Osborne Street, and we do not sell set packages, so we start from your parent\u2019s week and build the schedule from there. Visits can run from a few hours up to around-the-clock support. If a family caregiver is the one carrying most of this, <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/in-home-elder-care-services\/respite-care-services\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">respite care<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> gives them a break while a trained caregiver looks after their parent at home.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">What we notice most in Winnipeg is that the families who call us are rarely at a crisis point. They usually just do not know how to say it out loud. A call with us while your parent is still thinking it over tells you what the options actually are, what they cost, and what a week of them would look like in your parent\u2019s house.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Talk With Us About Personal Care. Call (204) 488-4600 for a free, no-obligation care consultation, or <\/span><\/b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.comfortkeepers.ca\/winnipeg\/contact\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">contact our Winnipeg team<\/span><\/a><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">. You can call before your parent has decided anything, and nothing is arranged unless you ask for it.<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:200,&quot;335559739&quot;:200}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">About the Author<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">This article was written by the Comfort Keepers Winnipeg Editorial Team, which produces our local guidance for families arranging care in Winnipeg and the surrounding Manitoba area. It was reviewed for local service accuracy by Debbie Bell, Owner of Comfort Keepers Winnipeg since 2014, whose review covers how care is actually delivered by our Winnipeg team and is not a clinical or medical review. Questions about a specific health situation belong with your parent\u2019s physician or health care team.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Sources<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/help-support\/im-caring-person-living-dementia\/providing-day-day-care\/personal-care\/bathing\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alzheimer Society of Canada. Bathing. Providing day-to-day care series.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/help-support\/im-caring-person-living-dementia\/providing-day-day-care\/decision-making-respecting\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alzheimer Society of Canada. Decision-making and respecting independence.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/sites\/default\/files\/documents\/Guidelines-for-Care_Alzheimer-Society-Canada.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alzheimer Society of Canada. Guidelines for Care: Person-centred care of people with dementia living in care homes. January 2011.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/about-dementia\/do-i-have-dementia\/10-warning-signs-dementia\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Alzheimer Society of Canada. 10 warning signs of dementia.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/employment-social-development\/corporate\/seniors-forum-federal-provincial-territorial\/care-conversation.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Employment and Social Development Canada, Federal-Provincial-Territorial Ministers Responsible for Seniors Forum. Care conversations, it&#8217;s about you and the person you support. Modified 27 August 2024.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/employment-social-development\/corporate\/seniors-forum-federal-provincial-territorial\/aging.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Employment and Social Development Canada, Federal-Provincial-Territorial Ministers Responsible for Seniors Forum. Thinking about aging in place. Modified 7 May 2025.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/health\/homecare\/guide.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Manitoba Health, Seniors and Long-Term Care. Your Guide to Home Care Services in Manitoba. MG-4527 (Rev. 05\/23), May 2023.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/publications\/docs\/caregiver.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Manitoba Seniors and Healthy Aging Secretariat. A Guide for the Caregiver: Information and Resources for Caregivers. Revised October 2016.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nidcr.nih.gov\/sites\/default\/files\/2023-12\/dry-mouth-and-older-adults.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research, National Institutes of Health. Dry Mouth and Older Adults: Information for Caregivers. November 2023.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.niddk.nih.gov\/health-information\/urologic-diseases\/bladder-control-problems\/definition-facts\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, National Institutes of Health. Definition and Facts for Bladder Control Problems (Urinary Incontinence). Last reviewed July 2021.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/does-older-adult-your-life-need-help\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Institute on Aging, National Institutes of Health. Does an Older Adult in Your Life Need Help?<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/getting-started-caregiving\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Institute on Aging, National Institutes of Health. Getting Started With Caregiving.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/sharing-caregiving-responsibilities\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Institute on Aging, National Institutes of Health. Sharing Caregiving Responsibilities. Content reviewed 12 October 2023.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/health-care-professionals-information\/talking-your-older-patients\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Institute on Aging, National Institutes of Health. Talking With Your Older Patients. Guidance written for health care professionals. Content reviewed 25 January 2023.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004014.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. MedlinePlus. Aging changes in skin. Reviewed 15 July 2024.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004015.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. MedlinePlus. Aging changes in the bones, muscles and joints. Reviewed 15 July 2024.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/medlineplus.gov\/ency\/article\/004013.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health. MedlinePlus. Aging changes in the senses. Reviewed 15 July 2024.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/resources\/financial-and-legal-matters.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Province of Manitoba, Health, Seniors and Long-Term Care. Financial and Legal Matters.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/surveillance-report-falls-older-adults-canada.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Public Health Agency of Canada. Surveillance report on falls among older adults in Canada. Modified 20 February 2024.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www.canada.ca\/en\/public-health\/services\/publications\/healthy-living\/safe-living-guide-a-guide-home-safety-seniors.html\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Public Health Agency of Canada. The Safe Living Guide: A Guide to Home Safety for Seniors. Published 2005, modified 9 November 2021.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/82-003-x\/2025007\/article\/00002-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada. Aging in the community: Factors associated with home adaptations and receipt of informal care, home care, and community support services among older Canadians. Health Reports 82-003-X, 16 July 2025. Canadian Health Survey on Seniors, 2019\/2020.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/daily-quotidien\/221108\/t003b-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada. Table 3: Proportions of unpaid care activities for adults in the past 12 months, by gender, 2022. In More than half of women provide care to children and care-dependent adults in Canada, 2022. The Daily, 8 November 2022. Canadian Social Survey, Wave 6.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/www150.statcan.gc.ca\/n1\/pub\/82-624-x\/2014001\/article\/14010-eng.htm\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Statistics Canada. Understanding seniors&#8217; risk of falling and their perception of risk. Health at a Glance 82-624-X, 2014. Canadian Community Health Survey, Healthy Aging, 2008 to 2009.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/web2.gov.mb.ca\/laws\/statutes\/ccsm\/h027.php\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">The Health Care Directives Act, C.C.S.M. c. H27, sections 2 and 4(2). Province of Manitoba.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wrha.mb.ca\/celebrating-50-years-of-home-care\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Winnipeg Regional Health Authority. Celebrating 50 years of home care. Modified 2 May 2025.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wrha.mb.ca\/home-care\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Winnipeg Regional Health Authority. Home Care.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/wrha.mb.ca\/2022\/09\/12\/what-you-need-to-know-about-personal-care-home-eligibility\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Winnipeg Regional Health Authority. What you need to know about personal care home eligibility. 12 September 2022.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/cdn.who.int\/media\/docs\/default-source\/2021-dha-docs\/9789240016866-eng.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">World Health Organization. Global report on ageism. 2021, page 7, section 1.1.2.<\/span><\/a><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559685&quot;:360,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:120,&quot;335559991&quot;:360}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h2><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Frequently Asked Questions<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h2>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">My sibling and I disagree about whether our parent needs help. What now?<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Try to agree on the specific changes you have noticed before raising the subject together. Avoid turning the conversation into a disagreement between siblings, and keep your parent directly involved in deciding what happens next. Manitoba\u2019s <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/seniors\/publications\/docs\/caregiver.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guide for caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> advises families to \u201clisten to each other and agree on plans for your family member,\u201d and it is blunt about the landing point: \u201ceveryone should accept a compromise once all options are explored.\u201d It also cautions against demanding too many changes from family members, and suggests accepting the help they do offer. If you stay stuck, the Alzheimer Society of Canada, in its <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/alzheimer.ca\/en\/help-support\/im-caring-person-living-dementia\/providing-day-day-care\/decision-making-respecting\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">guidance on decision-making for dementia caregivers<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">, suggests bringing in an impartial, trusted third party to help resolve the issue. A care consultation will not settle a disagreement for you, but it can turn general concerns into a concrete list of tasks, options and possible schedules that the family can look at together.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">My father will accept help from a caregiver but not from me. Should that bother me?<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">It is a common thing families tell us, and it is not a rejection. Many of the older adults we work with seem to protect that relationship on purpose. The US National Institute on Aging notes something similar about health conversations, that if a person <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.nia.nih.gov\/health\/caregiving\/getting-started-caregiving\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">\u201cisn\u2019t comfortable talking about it themselves, they may be willing for you to talk with their health care provider instead.\u201d<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> The same instinct is at work. You are not being replaced. You are being kept in the role your father wants you in, which is his son rather than his caregiver, and that often frees up the visits you do have.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Can my parent receive publicly funded home care and private personal care at the same time?<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">Yes, and many Winnipeg families use both. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/health\/homecare\/guide.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">Manitoba\u2019s guide to home care services<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> states that regional health authority staff \u201cmay help you with mobility, such as walking, transferring and personal care, such as bathing, dressing and toileting,\u201d with eligibility based on assessed care needs determined through a case co-ordinator assessment. Anyone can start that process: \u201cindividuals may contact, or refer a Manitoba resident to their RHA to request an eligibility assessment,\u201d and in Winnipeg the <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/wrha.mb.ca\/home-care\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">WRHA Home Care intake line<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> is 204-788-8330. That co-ordinator works for the regional health authority and is a different person from our own Client Care Coordinator.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">The part most families want to know is who decides. The <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.gov.mb.ca\/health\/homecare\/guide.pdf\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">provincial guide<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> describes the care plan as agreed between the client, the family or representative and the case co-ordinator, with the client signing it. So the plan is your parent\u2019s to agree to, not something handed to them.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">On cost, the WRHA states that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/wrha.mb.ca\/celebrating-50-years-of-home-care\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">there is no fee for home care, regardless of income<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\">. A few services do carry a fee: the same guide names respite care provided somewhere other than your home, and adult day programs. Private care is arranged directly with us instead, which is why families add it alongside a public plan when they want more hours, different timing, or help that falls outside what their parent was assessed for.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><b><span data-contrast=\"none\">Does accepting personal care at home mean a move to a personal care home is next?<\/span><\/b><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:320,&quot;335559739&quot;:120}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/h3>\n<p><span data-contrast=\"none\">No. Accepting help at home does not mean a move to a personal care home is next. Home and community supports are among the options used to help people remain at home for as long as it is safe and practical. The Winnipeg Regional Health Authority states that <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/wrha.mb.ca\/2022\/09\/12\/what-you-need-to-know-about-personal-care-home-eligibility\/\"><span data-contrast=\"none\">placement in long-term care<\/span><\/a><span data-contrast=\"none\"> \u201cis only considered when the client can no longer be supported by formal and informal community supports and all options for community living have been reviewed,\u201d and that clients waiting for placement from home \u201ccan most often stay home with the appropriate supports until a bed at the care home of their choosing is available.\u201d Support at home is one of the options that has to be explored, not a step past it.<\/span><span data-ccp-props=\"{&quot;134233117&quot;:false,&quot;134233118&quot;:false,&quot;335559738&quot;:0,&quot;335559739&quot;:160}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span data-ccp-props=\"{}\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The same shirt three days running. A shower that stays dry. A father who shaved every morning of his working life and has quietly stopped, and who has not said why.\u00a0 Families often notice small changes like these before they know what the changes mean, and many hesitate to raise the subject right away. The [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":86,"featured_media":5871,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[73,35],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5868","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-senior-caregivers","category-senior-in-home-care"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Talk to an Aging Parent About Personal Care<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Practical guidance for Winnipeg families on talking with an aging parent about bathing, dressing and grooming while protecting dignity and choice.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" 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